


Alone

by NoirWolf5



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Sad Ending, Tragedy, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28067643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoirWolf5/pseuds/NoirWolf5
Summary: The war has been over for two years and Harry Potter has never felt more alone. Unrequited love Harmony fic with a sad ending, don't read if you don't want to be depressed by the end.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 11
Kudos: 32





	Alone

Harry was alone in the corner, watching the party.

It had been exactly two years after the Battle of Hogwarts. Two years after Harry had killed Voldemort and got his happy ending. Two years after Harry finally found the happiness he had craved all his life. Or at least that was what he wished he could say.

After Ron had left during the Horcrux hunt, Harry and Hermione had been alone in the tent, searching for the Horcruxes and trying to end the war together. It was during those two months that Harry had fallen in love with Hermione. How could he not, she was his best friend, the person who had never abandoned him, the person who had devoted herself to him like no one else, the person who knew him best, the person who gave him his first hug, the person who always showed him the most care.

And then Hermione kissed Ron during the Battle of Hogwarts. Soon after that, the two had gotten together and Harry was alone again. Alone like he'd been after his parents had died. Alone like he'd been when he lived with the Dursleys. Alone like he'd been when facing Voldemort in the room under the trap door, in the chamber, in the graveyard, in the forbidden forest.

Alone like he'd always been.

It didn't matter that Hermione chose him during his fourth year when Ron shunned him or that Hermione had chosen him during the Horcrux hunt when he abandoned them. In the end, she had chosen Ron.

Harry tried to ignore his feelings for Hermione and started a relationship with Ginny, but after two months he still hadn't fallen out of love with Hermione nor had he fallen for Ginny again and not wanting to lead the redhead on, he ended things. After that he had tried dating a few times, he went on four dates with Susan Bones, two dates with Lavender Brown, and even one horrible date with Daphne Greengrass. But no matter what he did or who he dated, his feelings for Hermione never faltered.

After a while, being with Hermione was painful. Slowly but surely, every time he saw her Ron was always by her side and every time they didn't bother in hiding their… _affection_. It was repulsive for Harry, seeing Hermione and Ron like that was the worst feeling in the world. It left this constant pain in his soul that he'd never figured out how to cure.

Slowly, Harry had begun to withdraw into himself, only seeing Ron and Hermione when he _needed_ to. Instead of going to the Auror Academy as he and Ron had planned to, he ended up accepting the position of DADA at Hogwarts where he'd been teaching ever since its reopening four months after the war ended.

Hermione had of course noticed but he always put any excuse and waved her off. One of the things he'd always thank the Dursleys for was making him a good liar and giving him a perfect mask for his feelings because if they hadn't Hermione would have never bought any of the lies he'd given her for the past two years. She barely did so even now.

But he had too, he wanted Hermione to be happy and apparently, Ron made her happy, so he kept himself in check and vowed to never put his feelings before Hermione's happiness.

The party had been alright, it was a closed event with only members of the DA and the Order which meant that no one was coming up to thank him for killing Voldemort. He'd spent the evening mostly alone in the corner, only making the occasional small talk with Neville and Luna and actively avoiding Hermione and Ron.

Unfortunately, it seemed that fate wanted to kick him in the balls for the umpteenth time in his life.

From his spot in the corner, he noticed how Ron suddenly stood in front of Hermione and then got down on one knee, pulling out a small velvet box and presenting it to her. As he did so, the party suddenly stopped, making Ron's proposal perfectly clear for Harry to hear.

"'Mione, for the past nine years you have been the best person in my life. You've been my rock, my happiness, my inspiration, my everything. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for you and I am sure I would be a far worse man if you hadn't been in my life. I love you, Hermione Granger, I love you more than life itself, more than you will ever know, and I can't see myself ever being without you. Would you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"

Hermione stared at Ron with awe, affection… _love_. She appeared too shocked to answer for a few moments before she beamed at Ron like she used to beam at him.

"Yes, Ronald. I will marry you." She said _lovingly_.

Ron gently put the ring on her finger before standing up and kissing her in front of everybody as the whole room clapped. All of them except Harry.

He immediately looked away from the kiss as he felt an excruciating pain inside him. Not only that but he suddenly also felt extremely lightheaded and nauseated. He wanted to vomit, he wanted to scream and cry, he wanted to curl up in a ball and not move until the awful feelings that were drowning him left him.

But he didn't. Instead, he looked up and forced his mask in place as he smiled at the couple, unable to make himself clap as he watched the final glimmer of his dreams die right in front of his eyes.

They kissed for an eternity. It had to be, there was no way that kiss lasted any less, before they finally parted and smiled at each other before Hermione gave a giggle that made him sick enough to break his mask for a second.

And then she looked around the room before her eyes found his and she _beamed_ at him. Harry painfully forced himself to broaden his smile. She then looked away and stared at her ring with awe clear on her face before suddenly, every woman in the room rounded on Hermione and began analyzing her ring.

Harry needed to leave, he couldn't bear to be here a second longer. He looked around the room and saw Ron smiling proudly at Hermione. Harry immediately looked away and happened to look directly at Neville, who was looking at him very observantly.

He looked away as he tried to fight the overwhelming feelings that were drowning him. He finally found the door and immediately made his way there, reaching it without a problem and quietly leaving the Burrow without anybody noticing.

"Harry!" The voice he loved called out to him just as he reached the anti-apparition wards around the Burrow. "Wait!"

Even though he wanted to ignore it and apparate away, claiming bad hearing as his excuse when she cornered him about it later. He stopped and just waited right there, unable to make himself turn around.

After a couple of moments, she reached him and grabbed his arm, her touch was gentle but firm at the same time in a way that was so purely Hermione.

"Where are you going?" She asked slightly out of breath as she beamed at him. "It's barely nine!"

Harry forced his mask back onto his face as he smiled back at Hermione. "I just remembered that I had scheduled a quiz for the fifth year class tomorrow morning and I forgot to actually make it." He chuckled at that and he couldn't help but notice how fake and hollow it sounded.

"Oh honestly." Hermione rolled her eyes amusedly. "You're a teacher and you're still leaving everything for the last minute! It's like you need me there to remind you to do your work!" She laughed at that and he couldn't help but admire the beautiful sound it was.

"It was just this once, Hermione. With the party today, I had completely forgotten." He waved her off.

"That's no excuse, Mr Potter!" She said with mock-sternness. "Anyways, can't you just postpone the quiz? The party just started two hours ago!" She pouted at him.

"I really need to go do this." He persisted and Hermione looked at him thoughtfully.

"We've all missed you, Harry. I've missed you. Can't you please stay? It would mean a lot to me." She finished with a smile but he didn't fail to pick up on the sadness in her tone.

"Not tonight." He said with genuine rue.

"Hey," Harry heard the voice he instantly recognized as Ron's as a hand slapped his back. "What's going on?" He asked cheerfully as he placed himself beside Hermione and grabbed her waist possessively, something that made the ache in Harry's chest even worse.

"Ronald, can you please tell our friend that we miss him and that we want him to stay." She said without taking her eyes off of Harry.

"What?" Ron turned to him. "You're leaving already?"

"Yeah, I have some things I forgot to do for my morning class."

"Oh, come on." Ron chuckled. "You're the teacher, mate! You make the rules! Just have them read the book all period!" Harry looked at Ron uncomfortably. "Come on, Harry. We've missed you. You're our best friend and we haven't seen you in four months. Come inside, we'll play that weird drinking game Dean taught us."

"Not tonight, Ron," Harry said tiredly.

Ron looked at him and Harry could tell he still wanted to insist before he gave a long sigh. "Fine, fine. Go be a responsible adult. Honestly, I don't know why you took that job at Hogwarts, the Auror gig is amazing! And we would've been partners!"

"Teaching was just a better fit for me." He shrugged dismissively.

"Either way, I'm glad you're happy." He said genuinely before turning a bit nervous. "Since I don't know how many months it'll be before I see you again, I guess I should ask you this now. Do you want to be my best man for the wedding?"

Harry's breath caught in his throat as he felt his chest constrict painfully. He recovered quickly and forced an excruciating smile.

"Of course," He managed to say clearly. "I wouldn't miss it."

Ron looked relieved and beamed at him. "Great!"

"Anyways, I should get going." He said after a second too long of silence.

Ron looked like he was about to insist on him to stay and Hermione clearly didn't want him to go, but thankfully they didn't push it.

"We'll see you later, mate," Ron said, slapping him in the back and Harry couldn't bring himself to do more than a nod.

As soon as Ron removed his arm, Hermione suddenly launched herself at Harry and he caught her while managing to keep their balance.

"Please come and visit more often. We miss you a lot." She said shakily.

"I'll try." He said noncommittally as he tentatively hugged her back. After a few moments, she let him go and glared at him. "That's an order, Potter! You better come and visit at least once a month or I'll go to Hogwarts myself and hex you into next week as your students watch!"

Harry just smiled at her but once again, he couldn't bring himself to say what Hermione wanted to hear. There was a second of silence before Harry sighed and walked around Ron and Hermione. As soon as he stepped outside the anti-apparition wards, he immediately apparated to the Hogwarts entrance.

It was only then that Harry finally dropped his mask.

Harry walked towards the castle in complete silence as he wrestled with the feelings and thoughts that were drowning him. He felt his eyes sting but constantly held back the tears that wanted to escape.

Fifteen minutes later he finally arrived at the school. Not wanting to sleep and knowing that all the teachers were still at the party, he began walking aimlessly around the halls.

He had no idea how much time he spent walking, it could've been ten minutes or ten hours for all he cared. Because nothing helped. No matter how much he walked, how much he tried to ignore all the feelings that he'd been bottling up inside of him for the past two years, how much he blinked back the tears, how much he shook his head and told himself to not think about it, nothing worked. All he could see was Ron kissing Hermione passionately after he had proposed to her.

It was agonizing, it was nauseating, it was harrowing, There was no escaping it. Hermione would marry Ron. He hadn't realized how much he'd been holding out hope that their relationship would fail and that he'd end up with Hermione. And now that he did he wished he hadn't. Now that he did, he considered if it was better if he had died along with the Horcrux in his head.

Harry suddenly stopped in front of a wall, a wall he knew too well. The entrance to the Room of Requirement. He gingerly made his way there and stopped right outside where he knew the door would appear if he asked it to.

And so Harry did. He asked it for the one thing he wished and needed the most right now as he paced three times in front of it.

As soon as the door appeared Harry stepped inside and closed the door behind him only to stop at what was right in front of him.

The Mirror of Erised.

The last time he had seen that mirror was nearly eight years ago when he faced Quirrell. He had thought Dumbledore had destroyed the mirror after that but apparently, he had hidden it inside the Room of Requirement.

Ignoring Dumbledore's advice from when he was eleven, Harry slowly walked up to the mirror preparing to see his parents once again.

Except he didn't just see his parents.

On the right side of the mirror, he saw himself, grinning broadly. It wasn't a fake smile like the ones he had been wearing all night, it was a genuine one, a smile that was so bright and so real that he had never seen it on his face before.

Hermione was at his right side, looking at him with the same expression she had given Ron when he proposed as he held her possessively. On his left, Ron was looking at the two of them with joy clear on his face as he slapped Harry on the back.

And on the left side of the mirror stood his parents, Sirius, and Remus looking at him proudly.

Suddenly, Mirror-Hermione gently grabbed Mirror-Harry's jaw, turning it towards her, before she captured his lips in a loving kiss.

Harry glared at the mirror with pure hatred. It was mocking him, taunting him, showing him the life he could have had. The parents that left him to the Dursleys. The godfather that abandoned him to the war. The uncle that deserted him after said war. The friends that rejected him for their relationship.

The perfect life he _would never_ have.

Harry's eyes started stinging more painfully than before, but this time he couldn't stop the tears from escaping. He grabbed his wand from his holster and pointed it directly at the mirror.

"Reducto." He whispered and the spell left his wand, violently crashing against the mirror… except that it didn't do anything. It didn't even leave a mark.

"Reducto!" Harry intoned louder and once again the spell hit but the mirror remained unharmed.

"Reducto!" He exclaimed even louder, putting all of his strength into the spell but the mirror remained unharmed.

"Bombarda Maxima!" It didn't explode.

"Diffindo!" It didn't break.

"Reducto!" It didn't leave a mark.

"Confringo!" It was still intact.

"Expulso!" It was still standing there.

Harry stared at the mirror as tears unabashedly ran down his face before he unleashed every hex, every curse, every jinx, every spell at the mirror. But no matter how much power he put into the spells or how many spells hit it, it was still standing there, perfectly unharmed.

Not knowing what to do, Harry let out a primal and agonizing scream as he slumped to his knees before he began sobbing and crying like he never had before. All the while, the mirror images watched him with the same happy expressions that had been wearing all this time.

Harry had never felt more alone.


End file.
